Monday, June 18, 2007

DAMNED IF I DO, DAMNED IF...



Dear Friends, since S.U. closed I've been having a difficult time. Unexpectedly I've discovered that giving up on the world and most of its people (yourselves excepted) has cast me into despair, filled me with a worrying sense of hopelessness.

Problem is that I tend to be an all or nothing person. Dealing with shades of grey is not my strongest suit. If I don't believe that I can change the world or some of its people in even the tiniest way then I can't see the point of struggling against the tide of human nature which seems to be sweeping us towards destruction.

Yet if I don't have something positive to get out of bed for, don't have the optimism that better times may be around the corner, then...well, what's the point?

I've opened comments again for the moment. I would value your counsel!

P.S. Thanks to those who have emailed me. I'm touched by your kindness.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Blowed if I know, Daniel.Blogging is not always easy, nor can we as bloggers really change the world in a dramatic way.

I think that it all comes back to two things. One, how much we enjoy it.Two, our feeling to the extent that we are making a tiny difference, even if it is only drawing our own line in the drifting sands.

Speaking personally, I would like to see you continue, but only if has not all become too much of a personal burden.

Jim Belshaw

Daniel said...

Jim, I really appreciate your comment. Perhaps I will have to try to adopt a middle position: one of doing what I can while not expecting to achieve much.

Can a leopard change its spots?

GDAEman said...

Damned if you don't have the best images on your blog.

Hmmm... I started my comment before reading your post. So, it's an honest assessment of the fact that you're an inspiration, at least to me.

Remember the beautiful river in Lebanon post? It gave me, a human way around the other side of the globe a feeling of calm, that little boost to help me go forward, despite the burden that comes with "caring."

The "means" matter. Remember what MLK said, "The Arc of the Moral Universe is Long, But it Bends Towards Justice."

Daniel said...

Gdaeman, thanks. Perhaps I set the bar too high for myself, expected too much.

That I can jump at all might be what is important not how high.

littlebirdy said...

Hi Daniel!
I too used to be rather depressed by the prevelance of the (willful or forced) ignorance and cruelty that humans tend towards. Things still bother me on that 'macro', world-defining scale (things like ignoring Climate Change and environmental pollution, war and famine, etc). I guess I thought about it so much that it truly made me begin to feel hopeless as you may have. In the end though, I have come to the conclusion that one person is not helpless in the face of it. Writing your thoughts and bringing people's attention to things that are universally troubling is something that you can do to provoke external conversations and inner dialogues. You can help to change the way people think about our world, in a positive way, as from reading your blog they may be prompted to act (to join an environmental group, or seek change through political activism, or many other avenues). In turn, it is rather therapeutic to write out your worries about the world we live in. Perhaps being a role-model for these positive values in our own lives is the best way we can effect change in others? <3 Peace!

Mary Walsh said...

Welcome back my pessamistic friend...relaxxxxx...chill down....

Nine years ago I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer...I didn't even attempt to jump out of bed and race around the block...

After one month in hospital I had to see sunshine, feel the breeze on my face...eat real food...and most of all "be home"...

I put my first step down and hobbled painfully to the toilet with severe nerve damage from the chemo....today, nine years on I realise that what got me through the bad hair days (didn't have any actually) was not trying to be all things to all people...I went back into my cave on a regular basis to have a good cry and to regain my strength....People wanted me to "think positive" and if I heard that expression one more time, I would have throttled their well intentioned words.....

First love yourself, enough to make you the most important person in your life....trust me, everything else will follow...I had cancer of the body not the mind!

Realistically I know I'm on borrowed time - much longer than any one expected - but at the end of the day Daniel, the fact we leave the world a better place because of our being here, is really all that counts....

We can only be responsible for ourselves but as a blogger you have an additional tool to share with others...

A good heart, a good soul and the energy needed to pick yourself up, dust off and into the frey again!!!!

Daniel said...

It is you who have the inspirational words, Mary. I admire you greatly!

P.S. I'm not so sure about myself. Something to do with a domineering, rejecting father I think.

ninglun said...

And there was I writing your blog's obituary today too! Guess I'll have to update now. Anyway, I do endorse the other welcome backs, especially Jim's and Mary's.

Coffee Messiah said...

Nice to see you back, but feel your pain as to all the rest.

Although we do not realize it, simply putting words out there through the ether does touch and affect others, in ways we will never realize.

Just as when we venture out into the world in our daily lives, just one interaction tends to affect others in ways we'll never know or see either.

I've never held that anything I'd do would change anything, but we do, one person at a time.

And this time of year , as hot as it is, isn't conductive to sitting at a computer inside! ; (

Daniel said...

I'm not sure if I'm back or not, Ninglun. The picture describes it well!

Coffee, I think I've been judging myself against an impossible standard.

Thanks to you both!

Neo said...

Mary, I love your comment, it's beautiful!

Dan, I'm so glad you have opened up to recieve comments. I have no doubt that if we can't convince you to accept the 'misses' with the 'hits' we can show you how truly loved you are and that will be enough to get you though this rough patch.

Perhaps a leopard can't change it's spots but it most certainly uses them to camouflage and adapt to it's environment for it's own benefit!

Love Ya XXX ;~)

DP said...

Hey Daniel,

I came here after a long time and saw that your blogs closed. So what happened?

DP

Desert Peace said...

Good to see you back Daniel...
You have way too much to offer the world, it would be a shame if you kept it all to yourself.

Daniel said...

Neo, D.P. and Desert Peace, it was as though, suddenly, I saw the world as largely an horrific place and I wanted to run from it. But I soon discovered there's nowhere to hide!

It's people like yourselves that shine like beacons in the darkness.

ninglun said...

I imagine you know W H Auden's "September 1 1939". It's all relevant, but the last stanza especially.

Defenseless under the night
Our world in stupor lies;
Yet, dotted everywhere,
Ironic points of light
Flash out wherever the Just
Exchange their messages:
May I, composed like them
Of Eros and of dust,
Beleaguered by the same
Negation and despair,
Show an affirming flame.

Daniel said...

To keep an afirming flame alight in this tempestuous world seems to be rather challenging, Neil, at least for me.

Thank you for your positive contribution!

Lucyp said...

Welcome back Daniel. It may seem like we are banging our heads against a brick wall sometimes as we plow our furrows but colectively we can have a very loud voice. You can never have too many bloggers calling for peace and understanding.

Daniel said...

Lucy, thanks for your caring!

Anonymous said...

Welcome back!

Peace and Blessings

Lil Sparrow

Daniel said...

I needed my blogging friends more than I realized, Lil!

Granny said...

I kept your link open on Bloglines but for some reason it wasn't showing new posts.

Very strange.

Anyhow, thanks for the email and here I am.

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