"Satan before God"
Dear Friends, I bring you this news with sadness. It is official. Satan has taken up residence in Tehran and now that Saddam is dead, He has adopted Ahmadinejad as His new disciple.
Now I know this will cause consternation among those of you who are anxiously awaiting the Second Coming , the one which will follow the imminent Nuclear Firestorm in the Middle East. But, sadly, it is so. Whether it will delay the timing of the Second Coming is uncertain but Satan is a force to be reckoned with, sitting as He does at the head of the Axis of Evil. It's in the Book!
Iran, which is already said to be responsible for Global Warming and Bird Flu and the Indonesian tsunami of a year ago, has been attributed with new responsibilities. Recent storms in the Florida region have been caused by Iran's atomic development. An outbreak of AIDS in San Fransisco has been blamed on an immigrant from Iran, one who wore an earring (although which ear it was in is still under investigation). One of the most startling theories of all is that Bush's addled mind and incoherent speech is a result of an Iranian-poisoned MacDonald's Big Mac with double cheese.
Mad Cow disease has been definitely linked to semen which came from Iran, and not from their Mercantile Fleet either! And the crash of Discovery, which so spectacularly burned up upon entry to earth, has been attributed to a ray weapon which Iran has been developing 'in secret' in its evil quest to gain control of the world.
But there's more. The complete American failure in Iraq has been caused not only by Iran's interference but by horrific weapons that Iran has supplied. How else could the world's greatest military power, one which spends more on defence than all the other nations of the world combined, have been unable to conquer a handful of Iran-backed terrorists!
When next you make a comment on a blog and it disappears: you've got it! Iran is controlling cyberspace! If your partner leaves you: gee, you're learning quickly. Iran has put something in the drinking water which makes your breath smell like the bottom of a budgie cage and causes your nose to run like a tap! And I think I'm losing my hearing. Those bloody Iranians!
Yes, folks, so evil are the Iranians that nukes must be used upon them. They must be completely exterminated and George and Olmert are our men. There's no time to waste. But don't worry about the terrible environmental impact.
The oil is safely under the ground!