Friday, February 02, 2007


America is faced with a crisis! It has a rogue President who, despite being rejected at the recent elections, is continuing on with his crazy plan to turn the whole of the Middle East into a nuclear weapons testing zone. If that happens, the Muslim World will explode and a War between Civilizations will ensue!

Urgent methods for stopping him are called for. Talk-fests and existing American legal and political remedies are too slow. Besides, by the time they work, the world won’t exist.

As a concerned world citizen and in an effort to save the world from entering WW3 I submit to the American people a peaceful Five Point Plan aimed at getting rid of George Bush in a maximum of two weeks. It requires no more than:

1. Everyone applies for their holidays immediately! No refusals by employers should be listened to.
2. Everyone above ten and below seventy who has a vehicle, some backbone, and seriously cares about their country heads towards Washington with a tent, sleeping bags, a small shovel, and lots of canned food!
3. Parking your car elsewhere, erect your tent in every park, memorial, sports ground, golf course, etc, as close to the White House as you can get. If you’re lucky, locals with houses may invite you to camp on their front lawn. You could make lots of new friends!
4. Each family then designates half its number to go to the White House and peacefully stand at the gates (or as close as they can get) and wave placards that say things like: REMOVE BUSH NOW and TAR AND FEATHER CHENEY. As well, in loud synchronised voices, protesters shout, “Down With Despots” and “Deport Rupert Murdoch” and demand that Bush leave the country immediately along with all his Neocon and billionaire mates. Each twelve hours, the family members interchange to allow for sleeping, etc.
5. If any family member is arrested, no struggle is to be undertaken. The jails will be filled completely in a matter of hours so the arrests will quickly stop.

This Five Point Plan will immediately bring the whole country to a halt economically (only for a few days), stop Washington from functioning (some people think it doesn’t function democratically anyway), and George, who, as his Vietnam service shows, is a complete coward, when confronted by millions of angry, shouting people, will run for his bloody life in a matter of days! Or hours more likely! And good riddance!

Then comes the important consolidation stage. Perhaps most serving politicians should be sacked (because they are tainted by having too much power and prestige and have forgotten why they were elected in the first place) and an interim People’s Government appointed.

Next the Constitution must be immediately amended to stop idiots from becoming President and to limit their powers. Further amendments need to be undertaken to prevent all Congress men and women and Senators from becoming the willing pawns of Big Business and right-wing fundamentalists (these new changes should be introduced to all democracies worldwide).

Once proper democracy is restored, then simply hold new elections and live happily ever after. There. End of problem. The threat of WW3 is gone!

Perhaps we’ll all find Utopia after all.

P.S. If you don't like my plan then please suggest your own but keep in mind that swift action has to be undertaken BEFORE the nukes begin falling.


Zoe said...

Ahhhhh shit, Dan! Reminds me of the overthrow of the Romanian leader Nicolae Ceausescu in '89. He got out pretty quick!
I only hope Americans hear your plea............However, realistically would any of them endevour to give up work(MONEY) to protest and CAMP anywhere they can?
We are talking about ppl who know only luxury.
Don't get me wrong, I see that your points are spot on and I would happily do it. But making a ppl who can't go without fast food for a week........that's why it won't happen. World war three is comming!
Trust me...America won't survive it financially,governmentally or structurally intact...Then the ppl will rebuild.
Sometimes fate has her own methods.
I love this post have the hope I once had.

Zoe xxx

Daniel said...

I have to admit, there is a fair degree of opposition to doing anything a bit naughty in the U.S. Zoe.

It's as if they've been indoctrinated so thoroughly that their country and its political system is the 'greatest' they just can't handle the situation when someone like George appears.

They are used to worshipping their President not getting rid of him!

iMuslim said...

"They are used to worshipping their President not getting rid of him!"

A bit like the Romans... Where's the Praetorian Guard, when you need them?

Daniel said...

I keep waiting for the news headlines that George has been assassinated but so far, no such luck! Besides, then Cheney would take over...well, he'd just assume the control he's always had!