This Farce Called Democracy!

"Now, which party is promising us the most this time?"

Friends, the election in Australia grinds on and John Howard outdoes himself each day in duplicity and fear-mongering. Each sunrise brings new promises, new lies.

If we take out the rusted-on (those who always vote the same way) conservatives (Liberals) and liberals (Labor), this election will be decided by the swinging voters some of whom are shown in Van Gogh's illuminating painting called 'The Potato Eaters.'

Now swinging voters fall into three groups: the educated, altruistic group who vote for who they think will best run the country; and the educated, selfish group who will vote for whichever party will make them richer. These two divergent groups tend to cancel each other out though, under capitalism, the numbers in the latter group tend to keep rising.

The third group, who hold the key to victory, comprise the morons who know nothing about politics. Those of them who can read will wait to scan the newspaper headlines on voting day to see which party seems to offer them the most in bribes. They will tick them accordingly (providing they can work out which is the top and which is the bottom of the ballot paper). Those who can't read will wait for their minders to fill the form in for them.

Ah, Democracy, if only the Ancient Greeks could see what a mockery we have made of Thee!