Saturday, July 21, 2007

DON'T BE CRUEL! ELVIS BUSH



The Decider (also known as The Fruit Cake with Missing Ingredients) has issued an order that torture should not be cruel.

Now in the entire annals of human history, this has never before been attempted. Torture traditionally has involved cruelty, excruciating cruelty and pain beyond belief. No longer. Torture is not to involve cruelty, says George, and it's up to the CIA to implement it. The Commander in Chief has spoken!

Of course the question of what exactly cruelty is, is another question. Waterboarding for example: to some it's just a horizontal face wash, an experience similar to lying under a beautiful waterfall. To others it is like drowning except drowning is fairly quick - it is not something spread over hours or days.

I suppose electrodes connected to your genitals could be considered by some to be a form of sexual gratification. To others, it might be seen as something as far removed from sexual gratification as it's possible to be.

Being stripped naked then forced to lie on top of others who are similarly undressed might be your favourite sexual fantasy. For others, it's the ultimate humiliation and is clearly torture. Humans are contrary, aren't they?

Being confronted by savage dogs, to the animal lover, is sublime. To most normal people it is a frightening experience especially if they are naked and fear for their family jewels.

And countless hours having to stand in the one position or be subjected to loud music and flashing lights for days to the masochists is like an orgasm. For most folk it is at best highly inconvenient; at worst akin to manufactured madness!

I could go on listing but I won't! George is into torture in a big way. The deliberate vagueness of his pronouncement ensures that torture will continue either in America or some exotic place where the screams of those being subjected to hideous techniques will never be heard.

For me, a great source of torture is to see George's face as he tries in vain to express himself (as well as to be reminded that he's still hanging around like a putrid smell - a bit like Howard).

Even if Bush could bray he'd make more sense!

Or is that some sense?

7 comments:

Lucyp said...

He has never made any sense to me. It would be quite shocking if he actually started now.

Worried said...

Alas, we are cursed! Once people said that the United States was blessed. No more. We are cursed! With Bush and Cheney we have been hit with the Double Whammy.

Kvatch said...

I could go on listing but I won't! George is into torture in a big way. The deliberate vagueness of his pronouncement ensures that torture will continue either in America or some exotic place where the screams of those being subjected to hideous torture will never be heard.

And even if it were not the case--that our/his renouncing torture were unequivocal--it comes 3 GOD-DAMNED YEARS TOO LATE!!!

What has happened has happened. It can never be taken back.

Daniel said...

Lucy, Cheney is his brain, an evil one at that!

Worried, cursed indeed!

Kvatch, George is a simpleton, a puppet. The real blame lies with those who are pulling his strings!

Cheers!

mary walsh said...

I have to keep telling myself that not all Americans are like Bush. I watch celebraties being interviewed and to a person they all seem to share my views about their "Leader". How can this man remain....everytime he opens his mouth bull rushes out and yet he stays. To me he is mentally incompetent and should be removed from office. Obviously I am not alone with this observation.

Neil Shakespeare said...

It's back to tickling the soles of their feet with feathers!

Kvatch said...

It's back to tickling the soles of their feet with feathers!

"Bring me the comfy chair!"

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