Dear Friends, for the very first time I have decided to put a photograph of myself on my blog to allay your intense curiosity. I am shown here with my favourite crystal ball, the nasty swirly one, the one that has a habit of revealing all too much.
Obviously I have just seen something that is too horrible to contemplate (perhaps John Howard winning the next election or worse, Bush being given a third term) and I look upwards, to the heavens, perhaps looking for Divine Guidance. Why I am doing this I don't know because I'm an atheist and believe that religion is responsible for much of the conflict in the world. And I believe that humans are responsible for the rest. My wisdom is all encompassing!
My face looks a little haggard I realise, but I haven't had my morning coffee and, besides, knowing too much about the future, about our world, about people, day after day, is damn debilitating. It grinds you down. And people don't thank you for revealing the truth about them, about the world. No bloody way. They prefer to cling to their delusions, no matter how fanciful. I should really get another job. Perhaps as a tooth fairy? Or a clown? What about a Christmas elf or a billionaire?
But then I'd have to sign an Australian Workplace Agreement, wouldn't I? I wouldn't like that because I can't read the fine print (but don't tell anyone). I needn't worry. Who'd employ a worn-out, moderately depressed, somewhat cynical, ex-crystal ball-gazer who looks like a heroin addict, I ask you? Please don't tell me but I can see what you're thinking. How unkind!
Take my advice. Don't ever get involved with the crystal ball game. Don't try to inform people about what the future holds. To have a happy life it's better to be totally ignorant about the world, totally non-involved. You want some ideas?
Let me look deeply, more deeply, even more deeply... Wait, it's becoming clearer, clearer... Consider becoming a Buddhist monk...
There's an idea! Do you think I'd look nice in saffron?