CAGE ALL HUMANS IMMEDIATELY!

Without doubt all humans should be put in cages and all the other animals, whether behind bars or barbwire, should be allowed to go free.

Zoos should become places where animals walk around in their Sunday best and peer through the bars at humans with a mixture of curiosity, pity and contempt and, shaking their heads, perhaps throw us peanut or two or scraps of junk food.

Human, after ten thousand years of dominance, have demonstrated that we just don’t have what it takes to be sitting on top of the evolutionary tree. We have, using what some people dare to call intelligence, when judged by any sane measure, stuffed it! We have not only failed the world and all its other inhabitants but also ourselves. Why do I say this? Just open your bloody eyes!

Here we are, surrounded by all the wonders of our technology and ten millenia of deep human thought and knowledge, poised on the edge of imminent nuclear war while simultaneously basking in the growing dangers of global warming. Talk about double jeopardy.

Our air and water and soil are being further poisoned by the day while we calmly discuss drinking our own wastes. Some of us, those of us who can get food, become obese while the majority of other humans, our brothers and sisters, starve. They die from preventable starvation and disease – we die from preventable heart attacks!

Many humans still worship Gods of many kinds despite the fact that not a single shred of scientific evidence exists to support any of these beliefs nor has anyone returned from the dead to bring us glad tidings or proof. Humans of various religions, espousing principles like ‘love thy neighbour’ and ‘thou shalt not kill’, are quite happy to slaughter adherents of another religion by dropping cluster bombs, phosphorous bombs and depleted uranium explosives on them. Occupying them by brute force is another favoured option.

Humans still think that killing is the way to achieve peace. How dumb can you get? Ten millenia of history clearly shows that killing generates only hatred and the desire for revenge. But no matter, slow-to-learn humans have refined methods of killing to the stage that we could easily destroy our whole planet from outer space, reduce it to a moonscape. Now that’s real intelligence!

We humans, those who live in Western countries, swallow the capitalist line that material possessions bring happiness and more material possessions brings more happiness. So if I had 365 houses and lived in each one for one day each year then I would be 365 times happier than someone with one house? Even animals are not that dumb!

Humans have developed deviant sex to the stage where terrible diseases and viruses infect many in the world, even innocent children. Women get twin plastic bags filled with silicon put in their chest cavity to create the illusion of large breasts. Hands up all those who hunger to stroke skin-covered bags of silicon! Men actually undergo surgery to make their penises longer using bits of their own bodies. If a penis starts kicking you, you'll understand why!

Sex slavery is a thriving industry across the world as are paedophile rings. Infidelity becomes more and more commonplace. The extent of incest is still a great unknown. Unnatural and same-gender sex is now encouraged and condoned. Soon a hole in a fence won't be safe!

Humans have created and promoted drugs which enslave and kill. Governments allow the sale of cigarettes and alcohol, collect huge tax revenues, then hypocritically conduct campaigns to try to stop people smoking and drinking themselves to death.

Educated humans elect grotesque, deranged leaders like George Bush and allow themselves to be manipulated and seduced by the advertising antics of Big Business. Who in their right mind would want to drive a huge, expensive, petrol-gulping, 4WD 'Tissue-box on Wheels' right up to the edge of a cliff? I could go on listing but what's the point?

Build the cages quickly, I say. Lock us up while there's still time then throw away the keys!