A scientist has come up with the world's first perfectly-fitting condom according to Reuters. The user, at the height of his passion, inserts his erect organ into a can (or perhaps a narrow bucket) and, in seconds, it comes out coated with a film which then hardens to form a pliable condom that, like beauty, is only skin-deep!
All those folk who are hung like a donkey need worry no more about aids, or impregnating some writhing woman (or, if you're inclined to be queer, a moaning man), or splitting the straining rubber asunder at an inappropriate moment. And folks who have small, atheist dicks will be fully covered regardless of their tiny embarrassment.
Mind you, how an aroused woman will feel being confronted by something like that shown in the above picture is not yet known because the new condom is still in the experimental stage!
I would suggest that some urgent market research needs to be carried out first because there appear to me to be a few negative aesthetic considerations which modesty suggests I shouldn't expand upon to say nothing of the colourful, impressionistic impact on satin sheets or even the bathmat or the laminated kitchen chopping block!
Science is an uplifting, wonderful thing. Sometimes.
P.S. Yellow raincoats could quickly follow!