Saturday, February 10, 2007

LOVE AND TRUST - WHERE DO THEY GO?

This charming photograph from Reuters shows a white Bengal tiger carrying one of its cubs. The cub dangles without demur as the mother holds the cub securely in her giant jaws but not so that it is hurt in anyway. The mother, in normal circumstances, will care for its young and feed and defend them until they reach an age where they can leave her and care for themselves.

The close, caring bond between mothers and their offspring is fairly universal. I suppose it's nature's way of perpetuating each one of the species. Most human females care for their young as well although, unlike the tiger, the standard of care can vary. And one day the human child (with or without some level of maturity) leaves home and sets up a relationship elsewhere and, in ninety percent of situations, the replication of the species goes on.

What intrigues me is the transition between the deep love and caring that most humans generally receive and what so many of them do once they are fully grown. I offer the following partial list: incest, rape, murder, love of violence, greed, exploitation, sexual deviation, selfishness, fraud, infidelity, drug abuse, cruelty, lovelessness, etc.

For many humans, there seems to be a huge, rather incomprehensible disconnect between the positive, generous nurturing received while young and the adult outcome.

War and Capitalism exemplify this perfectly. Why do most humans adjust so easily to things which seem to be largely at odds with their love-filled upbringing? Why do people who experienced love go out and happily kill others? Why do people who experienced generosity and caring become enthusiastic disciples of greed?

8 comments:

Zoe said...

This is a very good question,Dan.

It is very strange that limitless love ceases in adulthood! I wish we could find the answer and prevent the things you mentioned....but beyond reasonable doubt that will never happen??????

Daniel said...

Zoe, it's hard to work out whether the genes are at fault or the environment. But the love of a parent for a child should teach the child to be loving and generous in turn. But how many are?

So I guess that leaves the genes. That's a worry!

Take care. xxxxxxx

Coffee Messiah said...

It all comes down to one word for those who follow their leaders blindly (whoever/wherever) they are:

Sheeple! ; (

L. Sparrow said...

Hello Daniel,

Sadly the question WHY WHY WHY does rattle loudly in my brain as well.

Besides genetics and mental disorders my first question usually is what happened?

Then why did it happen?

Then what were the consequences ... the results .... rape, murder .... hell even an angry personality can cause upset in anyone's life, workplace ...etc.

I think under closer inspection most of us were brought up, clothed, sheltered, fed, put into schools .... but were we really loved, cherished, listened to?

Most of us, coming from a two parent household, many of us having both parents working ... spent maybe three or four hours with our parents between Monday to Friday. Very few of those hours are in direct one on one communication (bringing us to school, getting ready for school, making us dinner, preparing us for bed - with the rest of our siblings)

Weekends ... sometimes the same thing. Being in the same room with a person does not constitute quality time, watching TV together, chores...does not constitute quality time ... going to the grocery store....

CONVERSATION - back and forth CONVERSATION and interest in each other's lives ... and listening ...listening ...listening to each other is really important.

So for the most part, I don't believe we all received a great deal of attention as children ... we were around our parents ...but did we spend quality time with them?

My partner and I have been working on listening to each other .... we both have our challenges however we had stopped listening to each other and began interrupting each other... we are reversing the damage.

The other night he turned on the radio during dinner and turned off the TV. We talked to each over dinner ... seems very simple .... we haven't done this .... in ...how long? We were spending time together but not sharing.

SHARING.

If we all shared more ... perhaps our relationships with our partners, parents, friends and children would be better ... perhaps our society would be healthier?

Incidently, I think at times that is where things such as Blogs become really important ... we know that someone may be giving us their undivided attention... :)

Peace and Blessings.

Lil Sparrow

thepoetryman said...

incest, rape, murder, love of violence, greed, exploitation, sexual deviation, selfishness, fraud, infidelity, drug abuse, cruelty, lovelessness, etc. and they go to war...

Sad indeed.

Daniel said...

Coffee, hi! But why are humans so sheeplike. They have brains and intelligence that sheep don't have. Beats me.

Lil, thanks for your thoughtful comment. I'm fearful the answer lies in our genes, that we are cursed (unless perhaps genetic engineering comes to our aid).

Poetryman, I think the war issue is very telling. If humans were peaceful by nature then people like George would be hardpressed to find anyone who'd want to fight and to kill others. Capitalism reveals another rather ugly dimension to humans.

What a sorry lot we are.

Zoe said...

Yeah, I think L.Sparrow has It right....
Our society constitutes being a part of a monetary/material system which has little to do with families and relationships. There is no emphasis whatsoever on those sorts of things, and that is what has let us all down.
Take parenting for example, now I feel that my most valuable job in this world is what I am doing now.....raising a child. When ppl ask and I say I'm a stay home mum at the moment, regardless of the fact that Im about to finnish my double science degree and I have had some important jobs in the past...I am looked upon distainfully. There are not many mums who view quality time as anything more than an inconvenience......Put the kids in childcare as soon as they are born and get back into the workforce....make the country prosperous, line little Johnnies pockets and to hell with the social structure!
The police can handle that when the next generation of lost teenagers are on the streets killing eachother, or being sent to war because no one taught them to question political motives!
There is no structure because the foundation is shot!

Zoe xxx

Daniel said...

Zoe, that point you make so strongly is one I've been trying to make for years with little result.

Any society that abandons its children for materialism or as an act of pure egocentrism is looking for trouble. Howard, while claiming to be a family person, has been undermining the family for a decade. Throw your kids in a childcare centre has been his mantra.

Well done, Zoe. What you're doing demonstrate real love! xxxx

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